The Wreckage of the Past

When someone tries to pull you back into who you used to be

There is still something special about receiving a handwritten card or letter in the mail.

Do you remember having a pen pal in elementary school? I do. Writing letters back and forth and waiting with great anticipation for the next one to arrive.

That is probably why I was excited recently when I saw an envelope with my name handwritten on it. There was no return address, but I didn’t think much about it.

I opened it quickly and found a one-page typed letter. There was no signature.

As I began to read, my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. I felt dizzy, shocked, almost numb.

It was an anonymous hate letter filled with poisonous words intended to hurt, destroy and shoot arrows at any goodness.

For a moment, those words hit hard.

But almost immediately, God brought something back to my mind. The day before, I had listened to a podcast about speaking aloud what God says about who we are.

So, I began reminding myself:

I am who God says I am.

Blessed.

Loved.

Healed.

Chosen.

Forgiven.

Redeemed.

Free.

Renewed.

I am so grateful for the Scripture I have memorized over the years, because this was one of those moments when I desperately needed it.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

Another Scripture came to mind:

…no one can undo what I have done. Isaiah 43:13

Those truths began pushing back against the words I had just read.

Then something unexpected happened. My heart began to ache for the person who had written the letter.

Who carries that much anger for another person after so many years?

So, I prayed.

Father God, help this person with the anger they are carrying. Bring happiness, joy, love and kindness into their life.

Then I prayed for myself. I prayed for anger to be removed, for love and kindness to be poured over this person, and for God’s words about who I am to rise up louder than the words meant to wound me.

For the next thirty minutes, I prayed and asked God what I was supposed to do with this letter.

Because isn’t that the real question?

What do we do when hate, anger or accusations are directed toward us?

We have a choice.

We can receive the offense and allow it to settle into us. We can replay the words over and over, digging through the wreckage of our past and questioning who we were, what we did and whether those old failures still define us.

Or we can refuse to receive it.

We can let faith become a shield. We can turn immediately to God’s Word and let truth speak louder.

Establish my footsteps in Your word, and do not let any wrongdoing have power over me. Psalm 119:133 NASB

That is where peace begins.

Not by pretending the words didn’t hurt or denying our past, but by refusing to let either one have power over who God says we are today.

Jeremiah gives us such a beautiful picture of what this looks like:

But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made the LORD their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. Jeremiah 17:7–8 NLT

That is who I want to be—firmly planted and rooted deeply enough in God’s truth that the heat of someone else’s anger does not dry me up.

There will always be things in this world we do not understand. There will be people who misunderstand us. There may even be people who remember the worst version of us and refuse to see who we have become.

But we still get to choose what we carry forward.

So how do we move on without holding onto the wreckage of the past?

Continue reading the Bible for truth. Stay connected to healthy relationships with other believers. Keep praying—for those who hurt you and for yourself.

And keep remembering that we have all made mistakes. We have all hurt people. We have all needed forgiveness.

But God does not ask us to live forever in who we used to be.

Paul said, I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on… Philippians 3:13–14 NLT

That is what I choose: to keep moving forward, keep growing, and keep trusting what God says about me more than what someone else remembers about me.

I am not who I used to be. Thank God.

And for that, I give Him all the glory.